Hello Tennessee.

Here are some pictures from my travels Saturday. I went to Tennessee like a loner and walked around. :D

Mr. John.

I decided to write about an old man I see at Dillards everyday. His name is John. He is quite possibly one of the nicest/sweetest old man I've ever met.
John walks around the mall everyday, twice a day. If you live in Albany and happen to be at the mall, you will find John. He's tall and lanky with glasses and a balding head. He walks with his arms swinging past him kind of hunching over. He is one of the few men in Albany who actually wears his pants on his waist ..but.. his pants never reach the bottoms of his shoes. I adore this old man.

Every day I say hey and wish him a great day and he replies.. No you have a great day, a great great great day... he always thanks me for talking to him which warms my heart. He once told me... It's hard to find people to talk to now.. once you get older you start to lose a lot of your friends.. ( his wife died :( and I'm assuming his friends did too.. )

Another cool thing about Mr. John is that when he passes little babies in the mall, he gives them a dollar. well.. toddlers.. ..

He is such a sweet man.

I adore him so much.

Feels like letting go.

This song is so beautiful.

Love Languages.

This week has been pretty crazy.. From a crazy grandmother to working ridiculous hours putting up with ridiculous customers. Don't get me wrong, I adore most of my customers at Clinique..but one man refused to let me help him because I was.. "white" and he had no problem addressing it to me. oh well..
This week I've learned about different "Love Languages" and communication with others through different forms of love... (not love making ..haha) My grandmother feels loved when others spend her money. My mother feels loved when I thank her for caring and supporting me for years. I feel loved.. well... when someone spends time with me, but as I sit here alone I still feel loved. So I personally don't know how to describe my love language.
My grandmother wants to help me all the time.. and I have a pride issue. I really like to do things on my own, pay my own bills, buy my own clothes, purchase music from itunes (I don't download), and coffee ( I purchase a lot of that). I'll come back to this in a minute and tie it all together I promise.


Let me ramble a minute.

Jared and I were talking last week about me moving one day. God made it clear not to move yet and not to Atlanta... and well.. I prayed a lot, spoke with others who apparently prayed for me, and listened to the people who prayed for me a lot. Jared told me not to plan to move but to "cast a net" and see what happens. Well what happened ...blew my mind. My grandmother wants to help me move.... Which.. since I can't support myself with an rent, carpayment ect and full time school work... she wanted to Sounds crazy right?

So I thought about it, prayed about it ( since thats what Christians are supposed to do, right?) and I finally after YEARS have peace about this decision.

I realized before.. I tried to runaway from problems.. That's probably why God didn't allow me to move. I'm so glad he did that, hes so smart and amazing.

So to tie everything in...
I'm going to allow my g-unit to help me. So she knows I love her.. I'm going to face my fears. I'm going to Portland. Sometime late next year. I've never been so at peace and I love it.


God is oh so awesome.

500 days of Crystal.

This whole not dating for a year is fun.
I'm not going to lie.
BUT.

Really. I see myself married around 30.. with kids at 33 or 34. I'm not sure where I'm going to meet this goon but I'm pretty sure it won't be in Albany, Georgia.
I hope to marry a writer who is a closet nerd. Someone who loves Jesus more than me.. Someone who has dark hair, glasses, likes the outdoors, someone who is active, he knows the difference between espresso and coffee, about 6 footish? and someone who can deal with the fact I make up my own words.
Oh... and another important thing, I need someone with a lot of patience.

This whole thing came up because I just witnessed someone propose.... and I realized most of my friends are married or.. thinking about marriage.

Ek.

Apparently.

This past weekend I had an opportunity to go to Atlanta, Georgia.. and boy.. was it great. I sometimes forget why I love Atlanta so much. All it takes is five minutes of being in that city then I realize how much I love it. If you know me, you know pretty much know ALL of my friends (minus a few) had an opportunity to move to this great city. God provided jobs, a school, and well everything they needed. I'm very jealous of them, I'm not going to lie. They seem so very happy with their little community.
Also. If you know me, you know I would LOVE to move. I've attempted to move to Atlanta a few times, and God stopped me. If you ask any pastor they would say " God is protecting you Crystal, thats all". I guess I could look at it that way... but.. I'm extremely selfish and sometimes suffer from the only child syndrome. I think we all do though, so I don't feel that bad about it.
A couple of weeks ago I also made another attempt to get out of this town. I applied at some colleges in Portland. Yes, Portland. Don't ask me why. Don't. I have NO idea. I google Portland a lot. More than any normal person should. I've researched apartments, jobs, places to shop, ect. I saw that a couple of colleges that caught my eye.. so I did what any normal person would do. I applied. I aimed to leave this town next fall. I had the guts to do this because my good friend Chad, (who has it all together at age 30) told if I didn't do this now, I would never do it. So, as Nike says.. I just did it.
Back to the Atlanta story.
So Sunday I had an oppurtunity to attend Buckhead Church in Atlanta and WOW, was I amazed. I wasn't amazed at how "modern" the church was, how in the beginning of the service they let you text a number or "tweet" which opening song you wanted the band to play, or the song which was played was "Eye of the tiger". I was amazed because I've never felt God more at a huge church before in my life. His presence was so real.
The message was great too. It was actually nice to actually see what Andy Stanley actually looked like. I'm a download-er of their podcast and listen to it every week. It was just weird because I was sitting in front of Andy.
God knew I was going to be there. He knew I was going to hear this dern message too.


Andy spoke about decision making. He put some verses in there and talked about David and Saul....

I was so convicted by the end of the message.

and.. at the end Andy prayed.

God kept on.

Andy stated out loud," Right now there is a young single lady in here today. She is trying to do everything but God's will and knows it."
Thanks, God.

It all came together. If I move right now, in the middle of college with an amazing job. I have no idea what is going to happen in lets say Portland, I say I'll be happy..but.. I probably won't. I kept praying and even thought about fasting. (Wow, that sounded spiritual) Portland is still on my heart but God made it clear all this things he wants to me do here while I'm finishing up school. I know one day I'll rest my bones in Portland. I just know. but until then I'm going to praise him and do what he wants me to do here, I'm not that miserable... and God's pretty smart. No joke.

Hello Fall.

So. I find myself very excited about fall.... It's pretty lame I know but.. I just love the smell of fall, the slight change in temperature, and most of all..bonfires! Fall in general just puts a smile on my face. I'm silly- I know this.
Also- fall also means breaking out the death cab for cutie, copeland, and Manchester orchestra albums.

I'm very excited about this fall. Life is good.

I've seen bettttter days.

above is a picture of My mother, Father and I.
I love this picture.


I recently found out he has cancer.
I wish they would let me know more about it ..but they won't.

It's JULY!

It's July. How crazy.

My good friend Brynn thought it would be a good idea for me to BLOG again. VENT really, haha.
Well I took the summer off from school because well I could take it anymore. haha full time job, school, no fun. oh yeah.. BILLS. I hate them. This whole "adult" thing sometimes is hard but on the inside.. I love the idea of slowly becoming the person I need to be...?

eh. I make so sense sometimes.

Well
I decided that I wouldn't date for a year also.
I have a lot of growing up to do... I always fall for what comes my way. I always settle for less. Which isn't good. I always end up being further from God in the end. That's isn't how its supposed to be right?

Right.

I'm done rambling . Maybe next time I'll write about something important next time.

yay!

I'm very excited about 2009.
I started my classes and I love them.
The Journey's first show was amazing.
AND I'm growing closer with God each and every day.

I'm ready for this year.

God has BIG plans for me!
I'm so excited.wowowow.oh.wowowo.